Those of us who come from small families, or with few relatives, watch with envy as the summer migration of friends and neighbors head out to family reunions, and visits to childhood homes and vacation spots.

My mom and dad were part of the east coast surge for California after WWII.  My dad, from Syracuse, New York had returned to California because he'd loved his basic training at Fort Ord in Monterrey.  Mom was from Ohio but had been sent to Hawaii to run a YWCA camp in 1944, she came back through California and never returned east.

That left us with relatives far away, that we didn't see that often. Dad died at fifty and it took me many years before I reconnected with the one remaining cousin in Syracuse.  My mom's family in Ohio all died out except for one crazy string of 5 cousins that we're still in touch with.  When my mom and Aunt Helen (their mom) passed away -  they took the "relative gathering glue" along with them.  We see them occasionally when there's a wedding. It's hard to step in and recreate what my mom had.  Her parents each had 11 siblings.  She had over 100 cousins spread throughout Ohio. The Holl reunions at Uncle Dewey's farm were legendary .

My first marriage was to an only child with absolutely no relatives.  I don't know what I was thinking.  Second time around, I hoped to find someone who was a good fit for my kids who also brought family with him.  This is tricky of course because even when they have families, it doesn't mean they are a cohesive, dependable or loving group.  Or that they are that motivated to make you part of what family they've managed to hang onto through life's challenges.  One can't create what was never there.

With my youngest heading out to college in the fall, and the empty nest looming, it's a reminder that family is what you make it, and a result of the effort that you put into it.  One day I will demand many grandchildren.

I'm off to call my cousins and see what's happening in the land of humidity and fireflies.  What's your summer family adventure? I'd love to hear your thoughts, plans and from your experience.